Something wild

Take note: This is not a coyote!

"I want to see a coyote!"  That's what he said. Rob had travelled to Canada from the UK and was on Cape Breton Island to satisfy his burning desire to see Canadian wildlife.   Personally, I didn't get the appeal. Coyotes aren't that exciting. They basically look like medium-sized mutt dogs with fluffy tails: all cute a domestic looking, until you realize that they are totally willing to eat you. 

In fact, I nearly got hunted by a coyote pack once.  I was at a silent retreat centre outside of Banff, AB and decided to go for a walk in the  woods, despite warnings from my fellow retreaters about coyotes nearby.  Sure enough, as I walked down the trail I could hear them howling in the distance - howling: their technique for freaking out and cornering their prey.  The sound of their howls was getting closer and closer so I bent down to pick up a stick.  Wanting to make sure of its sturdiness I whacked it against a tree.  Part of it splintered off with a resounding and satisfying crack, like a gunshot.  I grinned.  FUN!  Within minutes I was armed with two sticks, my weapons of mass destruction as I rampaged through the woods whamming sticks against tree and breaking whatever dead wood I could.  The silent retreat was no longer so silent; but after about 25 minutes of my joyful cacophony the howls were miles away.  Score: me 1; coyotes 0.

So yeah, Canadian wildlife: cute but deadly.  I knew I had to correct some assumptions about Canadian wildlife when Rob began to wish aloud that we would come upon a moose on our hike on the Cabot Trail.  OK, I can understand the appeal of seeing a moose: they are majestic; they are stately; they have awesome racks.  But if there is an animal that I would rate near the top of animal I wouldn't want to surprise in the open bush, moose definitely is near the top of that list.  They can be quite territorial, and their huge size is going to give them the advantage in any fight.  Trust me, if you get in a fight with an angry moose, the moose will win.

Despite my fervent desire to not confront a moose, at the end of the day Rob's wish was the one that came true.  We were coming back from our last hike on the Skyview Trail as the last bits of dusk trailed away into darkness. We were only about 10 minutes from the car when we came upon other tourists stalled on the side of the pathway.  Peering carefully into the darkness, we were able to ascertain what had them hesitating: a huge black shadow moving along the side of the path, not even 10 yards away.  A moose.  Having just spent the last hour educating Rob on the dangers of moose in the Canadian wild, there was a palpable sense of nervousness in the air at being so close to such an amazing creature.  "Well," I reasoned, "there are a lot of us, and it's used to tourists and knows we are here, so if we move slowly and give it as much distance as possible, everything should be fine." And if everything wasn't fine then I was already mentally working on a contingency plan to use trees and my trail-fellows as moose speed bumps. Slowly, ever so slowly we tiptoed single file on the far side of the path, passing within 5 yards of the moose then continuing on to our car for the trip back to the hostel.

"Ok, that was a bit too close for comfort!"  I declared to my hiking partners.  This time even Rob agreed.



Skyview Trail, shortly before we ran into the moose.

Bonus blog content!

My rating system for how nervous Canadian wildlife makes me, from lowest to highest:

• Beavers - sharp teeth, but shy.
• Porcupines - sharp quills, but shy.
• Skunks - Shy, but stinky!  Also doesn't mind living in more urban environments, so beware.
• Raccoons - These can be vicious, but they won't pick a fight with you unless they feel threatened.  They will tear your cat to shreds without hesitation though.
• Black bears - Usually more scared of you than you are of them.  Make noise, don't get between a mother and her cubs and you should be okay.  Only need to be scared if there is a lack of food in the woods, or the bear is acclimated to take food from human sources, like garbage cans.
• Cougars - They will stalk you, but usually just because they are curious.  Only need to be scared if there is a lack of food in the woods or if you are short.
• Coyotes - They may be small, but they hunt in packs and will not hesitate to hunt you if they are hungry and you are alone.
• Moose - They are not scared of you.  They are territorial.  They will gore and trample you.
• Grizzly bears - They are not scared of you. They are territorial. They will maul your face off.
• Wolves - They will hunt you.  They will eat you.  They will corner and devour you until only your bones are left.